Sunday, March 28, 2010
Fellatio, also called fellation, is oral sex performed upon the penis. It may be performed to induce orgasm and ejaculation of semen, or it can be used as foreplay prior to vaginal or anal forms of intercourse.
Fellatio is commonly referred to as a blowjob. Fellatio is also sometimes referred to as "giving head" or "going down." Other terms include "sucking dick" and "sucking off."
It has come to my attention that the unimaginative may benefit from visual aids such as this, and you don't need to know Japanese to get the point right? This is what you do you great big man you..
1. Get a cardboard box, now this would depend on the size of your Schniedelwutz. Just to be safe, get a shoebox. Now if, your johnson doesn't live up to expectations your on your own buddy.
2. Cut a hole on one side of the box. Prior to this you might need a massive erection to make this work, now in case you need to carry your "gift" for more than an hour, I suggest that you take a Viagra or two. Better yet, ground activated charcoal sprinkled on your weenie. Why you ask? That MF turns shit into rocks, turning it into wonderdick should'nt be a problem.
3. Print out a copy of image above and place inside the box, add shredded tissue paper for personal touch. Do not use typewritting paper, papercuts can be a mutherfucker. You can add condoms, lubes, sex toys to add variety. Never be afraid to experiment, unless it envolves strap-on dildos which may be a problem...
4.Wrap box in fancy colored gift paper with ribbons.
5. Write a little poetry on the gift card, as well as your lover's name...always add this line "I hope you enjoy my gift in a box!!"
5. Give to the woman (or man...its up to you...you sick bastard!) you love this Valentines day, Xmas, Your Birthday, Anniversary, prior to make-up sex, etc.
Check out this vid by Justin and Andy gift-in a box on how to effectively do this elaborate but eventually satisfying (if done correctly) gift-giving method.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
I just couldn't resist. It was there, so I posted it. Its nothing to be ashamed of Anne. I just feel sorry for the sick bastards who are taking pictures..its the wrong angle fuckheads. Why settle for this if you can go to Youporn or Pornhub, at least its moving right...So go out and name your left hand Princess Leia and the other hand Chewbacca...go have a party!
The scene starts with this guy who looks like the thin guy from Roadtrip...yep the guy who used to have cancer. He's strapped in to this surgical contraption while standing up. Now he's looking down on his body cavity and he seems to be pre-occupied with something. Scene cuts and we see blood soaked tissues, sliced open, arteries clamped cut and filled with what seems to be embalming fluid, Hehehe, actually the scene reminds me of the oil and water clips from the Baby Channel which is quite serene and dreamy...and if you consider Thomas Hewitt aka Leatherface as a hunk who uses Ruffa Gutierrez's face as a mask (Please God, make my dreams come true), you need to watch this movie dude...
Now it'll take more than blood, guts and half-naked Brad Pitts to fuck me up. Its all about character bro. The movie's premise alone should be able to do the trick. Donnie Darko uses little SFX and has absolutely no gore whatsoever, but the premise of time travel via the novel "The Philosophy of Time Travel" and a sinister looking rabbit who gives the protagonist sound advise, somehow gives you that impression of "realness". Sometimes in life you get epiphanies such as having really bad coughing fits and breathing literally becomes a burden which made you decide to quit smoking (this thing actually happened to me, quit cold turkey 3 years ago..whoopeedoo...yep, I miss it) , waiting for the one step pregnancy result (Congratulations! You're gonna be a father ,fuckhead..lets pray your son doesn't do any of those Luke Skywalker shit on you) or in this case having an imaginary sexual appendage giving you advice on relationships...(had this one too..but that's another story)
This is my list so far...
4. In the Realm of the Senses
6. Donnie Darko
8. Dead Ringers
10. The Ring (Japanese)