Sunday, March 28, 2010

Blow Treats for the Sexually Challenged

Wikipedia defines a blowjob as: 
Fellatio, also called fellation, is oral sex performed upon the penis. It may be performed to induce orgasm and ejaculation of semen, or it can be used as foreplay prior to vaginal or anal forms of intercourse.
Fellatio is commonly referred to as a blowjob. Fellatio is also sometimes referred to as "giving head" or "going down." Other terms include "sucking dick" and "sucking off."

It has come to my attention that the unimaginative may benefit from visual aids such as this, and you don't need to know Japanese to get the point right? This is what you do you great big man you..

     1. Get a cardboard box, now this would depend on the size of your Schniedelwutz. Just to be safe, get a shoebox. Now if, your johnson doesn't live up to expectations your on your own buddy.
     2. Cut a hole on one side of the box. Prior to this you might need a massive erection to make this work, now in case you need to carry your "gift" for more than an hour, I suggest that you take a Viagra or two. Better yet, ground activated charcoal sprinkled on your weenie. Why you ask? That MF turns shit into rocks, turning it into wonderdick should'nt be a problem.
     3. Print out a copy of image above and place inside the box, add shredded tissue paper for personal touch. Do not use typewritting paper, papercuts can be a mutherfucker. You can add condoms, lubes, sex toys to add variety. Never be afraid to experiment, unless it envolves strap-on dildos which may be a problem...
     4.Wrap box in fancy colored gift paper with ribbons.
     5. Write a little poetry on the gift card, as well as your lover's name...always add this line "I hope you enjoy my gift in a box!!"
     5. Give to the woman (or man...its up to sick bastard!) you love this Valentines day, Xmas, Your Birthday, Anniversary, prior to make-up sex, etc.

Check out this vid by Justin and Andy gift-in a box on how to effectively do this elaborate but eventually satisfying (if done correctly) gift-giving method. 


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